How to Hide Your Addiction to Pokémon Go

Maybe you didn’t find a dead body floating in the river looking for an aquatic Pokémon. Hopefully you haven’t walked into a pond, crashed your car, or had Poké Robbers take your wallet. But you are playing Pokémon Go. You are advancing. You are finding Squirltes, Rattatas, Weedles, and Spearows. Gotta catch ‘em all. And, you might be addicted.

There’s good news.

We know how to hide it. Not the dead bodies. Your addiction.

Untuck your shirt and let it hang over the top of your Kippo shorts. Place your smartphone in the Kippo pocket. Pretend to look at birds while people are watching. When people look away, do the Kippo pop, grab your phone, and hit that Poké Stop. In and out. Easy to stash your phone, easy to grab. Your addiction in disguise.

Awkward Moments Incognito

You’re saying “I need my phone out so I can see the screen and catch the elusive Articuno.” I understand how to play the game. However, you might find yourself at a Poké Stop (a.k.a., a gas station) and spot your boss. Sure, you’re delighted to have Pokémon back in your life. Playing the game brings back warm, fuzzy feelings. But your 50-something boss might judge you. Wearing Kippo shorts, you have a secret place to store your phone and all the beloved Pokémon you captured. Keep walking. You’ll hatch that egg.

Pokemon Go Shorts

Now, let’s talk about your evolution as a player and as a person. There will come a time when you no longer need to hide your addiction. “I am a Pokémon Go Player,” you’ll exclaim from the top of a local monument rumored to house a Pokémon. When that happens, it’s time to celebrate your new identity by doubling your efforts. Pokémon Go and cardio.

Build That Poké Body

Playing Pokémon Go, millions of smartphone gamers have accidentally started working out. Pastey white skin is reddening under the ultraviolet rays. Calves are burning. Lungs gasping. Wearing Kippo shorts you will be ready to double your efforts and do an actual workout. I am not talking about gym challenges. I am talking about getting a real life cardio session while simultaneously playing Pokémon Go. Here are two articles that’ll get you started. No need to stop playing just to get in shape.

If you’re addicted and still secretive about your Pokémon Go habit, that’s okay. Kippo shorts can help you hide your conviction to rid the virtual world of those wily creatures. Toss on your Kippos. Gotta catch ‘em all. We won’t tell.

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